I grew up in a "Christian" home, where we believed in God but did not have a relationship with Him. My father struggled with addiction, and my parents divorced when I was seven years old. My father passed away when I was 18, but I hadn’t seen him in years. My mother raised my brother and me, but she was emotionally unavailable and often turned to alcohol to cope. We were always struggling financially, living paycheck to paycheck, and facing a constant sense of instability. From a young age, I learned to take care of myself.

At 15, I got my first job to help with expenses after my mother took out debt in my name. This situation created resentment and frustration between us. Throughout high school, I sought relationships outside of my family as a way to fill the emptiness I felt. I was in a long-term relationship through college that seemed like my escape. It felt like the one area of my life that was finally okay. But by my junior year, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and therapy helped me to realize how unhealthy the relationship was. Breaking up was incredibly difficult, but I thought I was free to live life “for myself,” even though I turned to reckless behavior—binge drinking, doing drugs, and having inappropriate relationships.

During the end of college, I met Matthew Jontz. We started a casual relationship and eventually moved in together after graduation. Although we occasionally went to church, we didn’t take our faith seriously. Matthew started working with a man named Mike who shared his story of overcoming addiction and finding faith. Mike’s testimony made a deep impact on Matthew, and we both began to feel a longing to know God more deeply. We felt the pull from God to want to take our faith more seriously but didn’t know how. We were living in so much sin, and it didn’t seem like there was a way out. 

Then God intervened and made it easy for me. I was offered a job in Dallas so I moved there, thinking it would be a fresh start. I quickly found a church but soon realized it wasn’t what it seemed. The church became controlling, and I found myself being spiritually manipulated. I was devastated, feeling betrayed by God for letting me fall into this situation, but in hindsight, I see that God used this difficult experience to draw me closer to Him.

After leaving the church, Matthew and I decided to seek a true relationship with God, and we began looking for a church that spoke true biblical truth. We eventually found Onward Community Church, where we felt welcomed and encouraged. More importantly, Onward was grounded in God’s Word. This was a huge turning point in our faith journey.

In 2022, Matthew and I became members of Onward, attended a pre-marriage class through Watermark Church, and were married all in the same year. Looking back, I can see how God used every experience, even the painful ones, to bring us closer to Him. If I hadn’t gone through the struggles with the church when I first moved to Texas, I might not have recognized the importance of finding a true church community.

We are excited about building a life and family centered around God. My journey has been filled with pain and challenges, but it’s also been marked by God’s grace. I had been a lost sheep before God found me, and I’ve seen His faithfulness in ways I never could have imagined.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Read and reflect on John 10:1-18. Sheep are prone to wander. Because we are sinners, we, too, have a tendency to turn to our own ways. What helps you quiet the noise of the world and listen to the voice of your Good Shepherd?

2. Has there been a moment when you saw God's strength at work to change your circumstances or to change your heart (or both!)?

3. Read and reflect on John 6:22-58. How can you trust that God sees the bigger picture and will sustain and strengthen you spiritually?