I was born in Korea and was raised by my grandparents. I lost my father when I was 11 years old. I got adopted by my aunt and uncle who lived in the States and moved to San Antonio, TX. 

I saw how God was working everything for my good (Romans 8:28) and accepted Christ as my savior in the same year I got adopted. However, I struggled to believe that I am loved. I thought I had to do good for me to be loved or accepted. I was trying to find my identity in school, having a boyfriend, and people's approval. I was so afraid of being fully known. I struggled for many years. 

I started dating a guy in 2021 and got challenged to know God's word. I started putting God first and reading Scripture daily. I started seeing the work of the Holy Spirit in me. We ended up breaking up because his parents did not approve me for having different cultural and family background. It deeply hurt me, but I knew that God always works everything for my good. So I ran to Him as hard as I could. 

I started going to The Porch, became a member at Onward, joined a community group, and dove into His Word daily. When I was reading His Word, he comforted me. 

He is close to brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

He collects all my tears (Psalm 56:8).

Those who look to Him are radiant (Psalm 34:5).

He showed me so much love and grace. I loved being affirmed by Him and He started healing me. 

During that time, I realized how broken I am and how I am in need of Him. I started becoming secure in the Lord, and he started putting all the broken pieces of my life back in order and healed me. I have experienced his forgiveness, healing, and redemption. Anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun (2 Corinthians 5:17). I am so grateful for a new life in Christ. 

I still struggle with jealousy, selfishness, and loneliness, all rooted in wanting to be loved, but I now know where to run to: God, His Word, and community, which helps me realize how I am still in need of his grace.

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. What does your day look like putting God first? Write down a scenario of your day of what it would look like putting Him first.

2. Where did you see God moving or working today? Write it down and praise and thank Him.

3. How did God show His love and kindness to me?