“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” – Ephesians 2:8-9

This is the verse that changed my life. I grew up going to a Catholic church. As early as I can remember, my identity was found in being a “good” kid. I was the teacher's pet, made good grades, and wanted to please everyone, especially my parents. As I grew older, this pattern continued. I sought worth and approval from friendships, and I greatly feared disappointing people. This was also how I viewed God. I felt the need to prove myself to Him and thought He would love me because I was “good”.

The summer before my freshman year of college, I attended a Christian camp for incoming students. One night during worship, I realized I had knowledge of God but didn’t have an actual relationship with Him. As I began school in a new place with lots of people I didn’t know, I was extremely lonely. All the people and things I had previously sought approval from or found worth in were no longer around me. I decided to join a freshman Bible study that walked through the essentials of what it meant to follow Christ. I read my Bible for the first time and my relationship with Jesus began to grow, but I was still seeking approval from others and finding my worth in what others thought of me. 

When I graduated college, I moved back up to Frisco to teach. After a couple of years of teaching, I found myself continuing to search for approval in my students, coworkers, and friends. To no surprise, the temporary satisfaction I felt would quickly fade, but then the cycle would start all over again. I decided to go through re:generation, a recovery ministry, because I was so tired of constantly feeling defeated by my sin. It was no surprise that I struggled with wanting people’s approval, but I didn’t realize how I could trace this pattern all the way back to my childhood AND how this struggle with sin had warped my view of God. All along I had been trying to earn His approval, too. 

Ephesians 2:8-9 tells us that we are saved by grace through faith. NOT of our own doing. When I realized I didn’t have to earn God’s love or approval, it was so freeing. 1 John 4:10 says, “In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” He sent Jesus for me, to be my Savior and the payment for my sins, because He loves me, not because of anything I’ve done. 

Remembering who Christ is, as my Savior, also frees me from seeking the approval of others. When I think about how God is the “all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing, Creator of EVERYTHING”, including ME, I am reminded that I don’t need to search for worth and satisfaction in anything or anyone else. He, who created the world and everything in it, also created me, and He calls me His own. I can rest in my identity in Christ, and I don’t have to look for the approval of others. 

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. Galatians 1:10 says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I still trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”  Are there areas of your life where you are looking to man for approval (work, friendships, family relationships, etc.)? 

2. Do you ever feel like you need to earn God’s love or prove yourself for God to love you? Where else in Scripture are we reminded that salvation is a free gift?

3. “Identity amnesia will always lead to identity replacement.” – Paul David Tripp

   Do you easily forget where your identity is found? Where else might you be tempted to find your identity? How does remembering Jesus as our Savior bring you comfort and confidence?