As a young child, I grew up in a Christian home with two parents who passionately loved Jesus. From an early age, I witnessed what it meant to live a life in pursuit of the Lord and His will. This allowed me to watch my parents pursue their faith through their involvement in church and partnerships with many mission-minded organizations. One of the biggest ways they displayed the gospel to me was through the adoption of my little sister from Guatemala. Because of their profound impact, I accepted Christ at a young age. Although I acknowledged Jesus as my savior at this time, I didn't completely grasp what it meant to cultivate a relationship with Him.

In junior high and the first half of high school, I quickly became dependent on being accepted by others through my athletic achievements. I placed all my value in how I performed in school and club volleyball. This was largely because I was extremely confident in my athletic abilities but not in any other area of my life. Shortly after getting cut from my club volleyball team, I realized that I was searching for acceptance and validation from people who would never provide the gratification my soul desired. For the first time, I understood that Christ was the only relationship in my life where I could find confidence, true acceptance, and worth in His great sacrifice.

 No longer participating in club volleyball led me to one of the biggest blessings in my life. Ever since I was very young my parents were extremely involved in a youth ministry called Young Life, but at this point, I had yet to experience it for myself. Young Life quickly became a huge part of my life and began to develop my faith greatly. The summer after my junior year of high school I served at a Young Life camp called Frontier Ranch and this is where I radically fell in love with Jesus and finally grasped how to walk in a daily relationship with Him. It was the first time I saw peers be vulnerable about the brokenness in their lives and yet still proclaiming that Jesus is far better than any circumstance they could ever endure. I left camp that summer knowing I wanted to feel this joy for the rest of my life. The scripture during this season of life that resonated with me was Romans 8:31 “What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?

 Unbeknownst to me, the vulnerability and testimonies of my friends in Young Life profoundly prepared me for the most challenging season of my life, which came less than two years later. At the end of my first semester in college, during Christmas break, my dad unexpectedly passed away from a stroke—an unimaginable sorrow that left me devastated. Yet, through this darkest moment, I felt the Lord’s comforting presence guiding my family every step of the way. As it says in Isaiah 40:31, “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

 The grief of losing my dad will remain with me throughout my life, but I continue to find my joy and hope in the immense love that Jesus demonstrated by enduring the cross for me. While I often grapple with the question of "why," I remind myself that my deepest desire isn't necessarily to find answers, but to have a solution to death itself—a solution that is only possible through the hope of Jesus' death and resurrection. Eight years later, I continue to hold tightly to the promises of Scripture, particularly Revelation 21:4, which reassures us that "God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away."

Reflection Questions:

1. What aspect of your life do you most long for the Savior of this world to bring redemption to?

2. How can you position yourself to depend more on God during this Christmas season?

3. What holiday expectations do you feel the Lord is asking you to surrender to Him?